I'm Not Obsessed, It's Clever

From the Boulder Daily Camera's Letters to the Editors section:

The cougar who was just found for a second time sleeping under the porch of a house in west Boulder has filed an adverse possession suit to retain ownership of the porch. I wouldn't be surprised if attorney Kimberly Hult is handling this case. The cougar, who has yet to be named, claims in an injunction filed with Judge James Klein that no human has used the porch during its two weekly nap periods. This is evidenced by the fact that no human bones or remains have been found under or near the porch with said cougar.

The Cougar is also filing a complaint with the city of Boulder's diversity coordinator stating that being shot twice with tranquilizer darts constitutes a blatant case of cougarism as defined by Article 24, Section 8, Paragraph 194 of PETA's General Declaration of Predators' Rights, which will soon be ratified by the UN. The Rocky Mountain Peace & Justice Center has also weighed in, protesting the Division of Wildlife officer's use of force to sedate the cougar when everyone knows that peaceful negotiation with cougars who have big teeth and sharp claws is the only way to reason with a sleeping cougar non-violently.

ALAN BLOOM